I Can't Believe She Said It!

Unfortunately, Fiona Apple has been keeping her mouth shut lately. There just doesn't seem to be the uproar of late 1997 these days. We suppose it's good for her, but it's bad for us. We continue to seek out fresh material. In the meantime, check out the old stuff.

[Note: October 2004 -- I can't find the file, although I do know that it was on a Denis Leary CD, prolly "No Cure For Cancer". Anyway, here's a transcription of the bit, done by some Tori Amos fan in 2001.


Man, man, I didn't prepare a speech and I'm sorry, but I'm glad that I didn't because I'm not gonna do this like everybody else does it. 'Cuz everybody that I should be thanking, I'm really sorry but I have to use this time. See, Maya Angelou said that we, we as human beings, at our best, can only create opporunities, and I'm gonna use this opportunity the way I want to use it. So what I want to say is, um, everbody out there that's watching, everybody that's watching in this world...this world is bullshit and you shouldn't model your life - wait a second - you shouldn't model your life about what you think that we think is cool.


Up until this point, Garafalo does the speech almost exactly like Fiona.


Start of mock:


Even though I have an eating disorder and I have somehow sold out to the patriarchy in this culture, that says that lean is better. Even though I have done that, and have done a video wherein I wear underwear so that you young girls out there can covet, and feel bad about what you have, and how thin you're not. The point is, I have done it. I am lean. That's why I did succeed sooner than maybe other musicians that maybe were better songwriters, I don't know, better lyricists, better vocals I can't say that. but I do know this...this world is bullshi...did i say this world was bullshit? cuz it is! And my boyfriend can make you disappear, he can pull something out of your ear and say things like "we have not met before, have we?"


Go with yourself!